my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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