never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is it because I queefed?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
