This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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