; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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