This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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