I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
