White coat. Heels.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
