he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
