I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
