I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
