It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
