You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
