the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
