I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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