Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He shit in the fireplace
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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