U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
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All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better