Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

guess who came home with a hottie last night

(1-805): View more from California

Def drugged

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(805): guess who came home with a hottie last night (1-805): Def drugged http://tfl.nu/j05c

Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (935)
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(212): View more from New York

the recession has oofficially hit my standards.

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(212): the recession has oofficially hit my standards. http://tfl.nu/xl9z

Replies (5) Good night (885) Bad night (2018)
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(443): View more from Maryland

just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad

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(443): just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad http://tfl.nu/g8m9

Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (2810)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast

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(306): coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast http://tfl.nu/g654

Replies (19) Good night (5154) Bad night (1087)
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(408): View more from California

Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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(408): Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class. http://tfl.nu/q2vz

Replies (12) Good night (3273) Bad night (1327)
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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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(360): Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything. http://tfl.nu/kqmn

Replies (15) Good night (5517) Bad night (1684)
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(303): View more from Colorado

im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

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(303): im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working http://tfl.nu/2ufm

Replies (5) Good night (1523) Bad night (3796)
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(586): View more from Michigan

and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship

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(586): and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship http://tfl.nu/q3ik

Replies (3) Good night (2660) Bad night (1039)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.

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(314): Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly. http://tfl.nu/f0vi

Replies (10) Good night (2550) Bad night (1000)
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(406): View more from Montana

Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

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(406): Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor http://tfl.nu/fbq6

Replies (10) Good night (1872) Bad night (597)
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(914): View more from New York

He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

(914): View more from New York

Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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(914): He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List (914): Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired) http://tfl.nu/bfp9

Replies (28) Good night (1915) Bad night (1020)
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(240): View more from Maryland

She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.

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(240): She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am. http://tfl.nu/ir0l

Replies (19) Good night (894) Bad night (1382)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.

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(225): I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40. http://tfl.nu/yalq

Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (446)
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(775): View more from Nevada

She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard

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(775): She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard http://tfl.nu/1o8s

Replies (5) Good night (411) Bad night (972)
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(904): View more from Florida

thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt

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(904): thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt http://tfl.nu/t37k

Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (450)

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