how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on