If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
