I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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