Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
