I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
