got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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