My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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