Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
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I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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