you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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