O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
handjob tips. give me some.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
