I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
