Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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