Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
