I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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