Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
