I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
