Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
