to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
