I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
