i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Bring me that man meat
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
