i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
