Got a toothbrush?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
