Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
