Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize