Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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