Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
