idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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