I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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