Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
