Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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