I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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