Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
