She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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