everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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