the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
