When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
