so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
