I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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