if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
