shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
