i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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