You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
