if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my being single is dangerous.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
