just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
