i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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