how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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