I have demons in me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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