did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
