When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
