How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
