these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
