and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
