Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
